‘Twas 3 days before Christmas
3 days until Christmas & I’ve survived!
I honestly don’t think I knew what I was getting myself into as a small business owner, of like 4 months, during my first Christmas retail experience 🤣
Anyone else ever have so much stuff to remember you can’t even remember what you have to remember anymore? It sounds ridiculous but I know a lot of people agree! Talk about anxiety, you should have seen me the last 2 weeks sitting in my guest bedroom, post it notes covering every inch of my desk, the fireplace, usps boxes! 
(Here’s the aftermath of making I couldn't even begin to tell you how many gift baskets, if you don’t believe me!!!)
Im one of those people where my anxiety makes me think TOO much! I stress myself out trying to remember everything I need to remember!! I have a calendar pretty much in every room, notebooks everywhere, notes in my phone, a dry erase board on my kitchen wall! All in fear I’ll forget something important. That’s actually how this whole little small business got started.
Anxiety. Something that nobody really knows how to explain. “Well my body will feel weird randomly then my brain tells myself I’m actually having a heart attack, but I’m not sure if I’m ACTUALLY having a heart attack or if it’s just anxiety!” Is usually how it goes for me!! Then my boyfriend will laugh & tell me to calm down & relax which we all know how helpful that is lol! So while my boyfriend was out of town working for a few MONTHS & I’m here taking care of a child & a farm by myself you can imagine the anxiety. So I started creating to keep my mind off everything! I always wanted to try making goat milk soap & that’s exactly what I did & how it allll started!!
So here I am. A mom, who has a human being I’m responsible for (2 if you count my boyfriend! along with 20 something animals) and a part time job, & this job which has been a 24 hour job lately, & trying to maintain a almost 100 year old house, and farm, and relationship with my boyfriend, and try to remember every date & time of every school event, every work related date, family events & parties, trying to remember to feed myself, or remembering that you actually DO need to shower (come on moms, we ALL know this feeling), & trying to find time to Christmas shop & play Santa!!!! Oh & don’t even get me started on Braydens elf that I almost got caught trying to move 34 times before brayden gets out of bed in the morning!!! I mean I’m ONE PERSON!
Well, my house is on the next episode of hoarders I’m pretty sure. There’s soap stuck to my electric stove top, beeswax pellets on my hardwood floors, Kraft paper from gift bag stuffing covering my office/ guest bedroom floor. & there’s not one present wrapped under my tree yet, Oh & I had about 100 Christmas orders waiting to be fulfilled that were resting on my little shoulders! Then JUST when I think I’m done, a damn dog hair is stuck in my epoxy mug so I have to re-do the whole thing! BUT when I say I’ll finish something by a certain time, I hold myself to it! I’m good for my word.
Well, I finished every single order & delivered the last few tonight that were for Christmas presents! So yes, this Holiday season has been nuts. I would get home from my job & walk straight upstairs to sort out that nights orders, go to bed at 2am, wake back up at 5:45am just do do it again the next day.. My feet are sore from standing making soaps & candles, my shoulder has tendinitis or something from stirring, mixing, & cutting so much (I’m not even kidding🤣) & I’m pretty sure I haven’t slept in 17 days....
So maybe the whole “keeping myself busy so I don’t pay attention to it” Anxiety thing was a complete lie.
But I did it. Women are strong. People are strong. We may get anxiety about things. I may get knocked down sometimes, actually trampled on, but then I get back up & succeed! I can’t leave tasks half finished because that would cause even more anxiety for me! It’s all about pushing threw & never giving up. It’s taking one step at a time until you succeed as a whole!!! Anxiety sucks. But you can conquer it🖤